


To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

by vogue91



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Altered Mental States, Dreams, M/M, Mental Coercion, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 02:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14034534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: It was like awakening after having had constantly the same dream, that perhaps wasn’t a dream, after having had in front of his eyes the image of the same person, then suddenly open his eyes and having to destroy that very same image.





	To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

It was like awakening from a sleep decades long, during which he’s had always the same dream.

Or perhaps it had been a nightmare, and Clint was still incapable of seeing the slight difference.

Oh yes, he had been bewitched.

And of course, when he had been freed from that veil on his mind he had felt like the body working under the orders of that mind wasn’t his own, and when he had to come to terms with the fact that it actually was, he couldn’t have helped but feeling disgusted with himself, and with whomever had done that to him.

He repeated it to himself, day after day.

They had won their war, they had saved their world, and when all around him had stopped he had finally felt the void inside of him, a void he was sure hadn’t been there before, a void he hadn’t managed to see while he was busy trying not to perish under the hand of the same man who has used him so shamelessly.

And in the end, that was all there was inside of him.

A void.

It was like awakening after having had constantly the same dream, that perhaps wasn’t a dream, after having had in front of his eyes the image of the same person, then suddenly open his eyes and having to destroy that very same image.

It had been too much, even for him.

But he didn’t know how to explain it, he would’ve feel ashamed to confess how he actually felt.

He would’ve felt ashamed confessing that, at night, in his tormented sleep, he find himself calling Loki’s name as if he was nothing but a common junkie, as if he needed something that he should’ve hated and despised.

As something he had destroyed, taking himself away from his own drug.

He stayed lying in bed, his eyes open wide staring at the ceiling.

He didn’t want to close them anymore.

He knew, he was aware of what he was going to see.

He would’ve seen the image of that face that had already become an obsession, he would’ve seen that drug that was a vice he couldn’t allow himself, he would’ve had it so close in the games of his mind and then he would’ve waken up the morning after, and it would’ve stayed just a dream.

Or a nightmare, Clint was still confused about it.

Loki’s face was a nightmare, his control over his mind had been a nightmare, the way he had used him was a nightmare.

Clint’s desire and the craving of seeing him again, that was a beautiful dream.


End file.
